The blessed curse of pain in childbirth

One of my early childhood memories that has stuck with me into adulthood is the day our pregnant cat started acting funny. I followed her into my bedroom where she made herself comfortable right in the middle of my bed, and started giving birth. I think within an hour or so the whole ordeal was over, and she was licking her kittens clean as they were nursing.

It really seemed like no big deal to her. There might have been some discomfort, but I've seen cats in pain (ten kids and a cat, you do the math), and what I saw on that day looked nothing like a cat in pain. Since then I have learned that this seems to be true for most animals. The only creature who seems to consistently experience any significant pain in childbirth is the human.

We find the reason for this difference in Genesis 3, as God deals with Adam and Eve after they have introduced sin into God's perfect creation. We refer to it as "the curse", and rightly so because this is where God "breaks" his creation, subjecting it to futility, pain, corruption and death as a physical picture of the spiritual reality that just took place.

Hang with me here, because this is the part that most people don't get: As such pictures, each of the curses that is put on creation, and on humans in particular, also serve us as blessings. It is God reaching out to us in our fallen state, saying "Look around you. This is what sin is like. Now come back to me". For example the curse for the man was strenuous work, pointing to the labor under the law to please God, with the sabbath as a day of rest to point to the new covenant of Grace ushered in by the death and resurrection of Christ.

A few months ago, when I found out my lovely wife was pregnant with our first child, among the many thoughts that entered my mind were these words from Genesis 3:16:

To the woman He said,"I will greatly multiply Your pain in childbirth, In pain you will bring forth children; (...)"

To a woman there is really no other blessing in life that comes close to the experience of becoming mothers. Why did God attach a curse of pain to it? Certainly it was not out of malice. What is the spiritual reality that God wants to show us by drawing a picture of the greatest blessing in a womans life resulting from excruciating, unbearable pain?

We find the answer in Romans 8:18-23, where God explains it all to us:

For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us. 

For the anxious longing of the creation waits eagerly for the revealing of the sons of God. For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of Him who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself also will be set free from its slavery to corruption into the freedom of the glory of the children of God. 

For we know that the whole creation groans and suffers the pains of childbirth together until now. And not only this, but also we ourselves, having the first fruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, waiting eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our body.

So from these verses we can derive a list of at least three things that God is teaching us through greatly multiplying the womans pain in childbirth:

• That the world after the curse is a place of excruciating pain and suffering.
• That this suffering is not in vain. It is the pains of a birth process that will result in a new creation.
• When all things have been restored to their right order, and the pain is over, we will look back at it like every mother looks back at her birth with her newborn baby in her arms saying even if it was ten thousand times worse it still would have been worth it.

Our union in Christ is not a trade union - Notes on 1. Corinthians 3:8-13

Last time was all about the unity we as Christians have in the Spirit, and we learned that the more spiritual we are, the more unified we will be. However, God also created us as unique individuals, and what we learned last time should not lead us to minimize that. Individuality is a part of God's divine design for his own glory. Showing off that he is so unique that he could create billions upon billions of completely unique people, all in his own image.

His Spirit doesn't take away our individuality. To the contrary he makes us more into the unique individuals we were created to be at the same time as he draw us all together. And in heaven when our sanctification is complete and we are perfectly unified in Christ, we will still be individuals. And we will even be rewarded individually for the labor we do for God.

Verse 8

Now he who plants and he who waters are one; but each will receive his own reward according to his own labor.

Laboring as one:

Working together toward a common goal is something that comes quite naturally to us humans. At least when our common goal is making money. In our workplaces we have very little issue with understanding that our coworkers may have different jobs, requiring a different set of skills, and being rewarded differently. We accept it, and appreciate their contribution to the value chain, because in the end we know that by doing so we will all make more money.

One plants and another waters. Those are two jobs among many others in the Kingdom of God. One maybe helps support the planter with money for seeds, another helps the ones who waters by helping him carry his buckets back and forth.

We could choose to look around us, wondering who is the most important, who contributes the most, and why the guy working next to me doesn't do the same job that I'm doing. But out time would certainly be better spent looking around to see what contributions we ourselves could make with the unique set of skills that God has equipped us with. Because he is going to reward us individually according to our own work.

Receiving rewards:

Did you know that for each contribution we make to this work, God will reward us? Apparently God is not a communist, giving the same reward to everyone regardless what they do. More work means more reward in Heaven.

We are in a time of great financial insecurity. In fear of another global financial crisis, many of the people who still have money left after the last one are investing in gold. They do this because any currency could potentially become worthless due to hyperinflation. If you had a million Zimbabwe dollars in 1980, you would be pretty well off. They were worth more than US dollars. Now you couldn't even buy a bowl of rice for a million Zimbabwe dollars. Now if they believe that that will happen to their currency, it makes sense to exchange their wealth for another form of wealth that will not lose its value.

Their problem is that they are too short-sighted, because the gold that they invest in is perishable gold. This present world will come to an end, and it's gold will be worth less than the Zimbabwe dollar. Now if we believe that, it makes very little sense to store up treasures in any earthly currency. Even gold. Jesus said:

Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in or steal; for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. (Matt 6:19-21)

I'm so tired of hearing people use legalism and guilt to make people give their time and money to the Kingdom of God. Worldly businessmen motivated by nothing but greed don't need to be guilted into investing their wealth in gold to preserve it, and only keep what they need for running expenses.

Likewise I'm tired of those who promise unrealistic short term returns on what you give to God. You'd be better of investing in lottery tickets or handing your money over to shady ponzi-schemer than to give something to God out of a greedy heart.

When you do God's work, by laboring yourself or by supporting others who do it, you are making a wise investment. You are putting the wealth that God has entrusted you with into the treasury of Heaven. And whatever wealth you have there will be yours for eternity. Whatever wealth you have on earth will be lost for eternity.

So... what do we get?

Let's allow ourselves a little sidetrack to speculate in what these heavenly rewards or treasures might consist in. The Bible gives us a little hint in 1. Peter 1:3-9 (ESV):

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who by God’s power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.

In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.

Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls.

The greatest thing awaiting us in heaven is Jesus Christ. All of us who are saved will see him, but our ability to enjoy him and rejoice in him. When we see him in heaven, we will all enjoy him to the fullest of our capacities. When the recipients of this letter went through different trials, it says it resulted in a greater appreciation for Christ. They had been united with Christ in his suffering, and by sharing that in common the loved him more. It does not seem unreasonable that the same would be true for those who have been united with Christ in his labor to build his church.

Verse 9-10

For we are God's fellow workers; you are God's field, God's building. According to the grace of God which was given to me, like a wise master builder I laid a foundation, and another is building on it. But each man must be careful how he builds on it.

Building a temple:

Now Paul switches metaphors, and calls the church a building. A building for which he had laid the foundation, and others were building on. Laying the foundation was the job that had been assigned to Paul, according to the grace of God that was given to him, and he executed it faithfully. Then he went on to other cities to lay other foundations. That was his job, and when he entered heaven the rewards for the job he had done was waiting for him there.

Apollos and others came along later on and continued to build on that foundation. Paul did not forbid that. He encouraged it. He just had one stipulation. He said this building belongs to God, and if you're going to build on it, you'd better do it right. “Each man must be careful how he builds on it.” There are two things he particularly says to be careful about

Verse 11:

For no man can lay a foundation other than the one which is laid, which is Jesus Christ.

The divine building code:

First of all, don't mess with the foundation. Because the foundation is Jesus Christ. That is his sovereign act of election for himself a group of people, saving them and indwelling them with the Holy Spirit, and drawing them together in worship of himself. If you try to start out a church with any other foundation than that, it really doesn't matter how you build it because it will fall anyways.

Verse 12:

Now if any man builds on the foundation with gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, straw, each man's work will become evident; for the day will show it because it is to be revealed with fire, and the fire itself will test the quality of each man's work. If any man's work which he has built on it remains, he will receive a reward.

Secondly, with the foundation being completed, you have options of how to build on it. Every builder will have his work tested by fire. Knowing that should lead us to chose wisely what building materials we use.

I'm sure we're all familiar with the fairy tale of the tree little piggies each building their houses. One out of straw, one out of sticks and one out of stone. Each of their buildings were tested by the big bad wolf, and in the end only the one built by stone was left standing.

Our work will not be tested by a big bad wolf, or even Satan, but by the fire of God himself. What can withstand the fire of God? Only the materials which he has provided.

There are many straw churches being built today. You can recognize them by their rapid growth, and light, fluffy preaching. Many are drawn in and become part of the church, but there is very little substance in any of them. What happens when God allows some trial to come and test them? They just blow away. They aren't solid believers, who have been transformed by the Spirit of God. They are merely carnal men having been persuaded by some preacher to try to become better people by going to church and hearing self-help messages. And if the pastor was sick one Sunday, Dr. Phil could easily have come and filled in for him without anyone noticing the difference.

Even though I point to churches with rapid growth, we aren't safe from this in a small church either. It is so easy to be tempted by the schemes of different church-growth gurus, and start imitate their deceptive and man-centered evangelism. Even a small church can be made up of mostly straw and flammable materials. People who may have a confession of faith, but who will not withstand the fiery judgment of God because they are not in Christ.

The judgment:

God does not reward us according to effort, but according to result. You can wear yourself out building a straw church, only to see all of it burn to the ground when Jesus returns. You will not receive rewards for those you led in a man-made sinners prayer, or persuaded to sign a “decision card”, or manipulated into raising their hand and walking an isle, if at the end of it all they go to hell. No one will look to you on that day and applaud you because your straw church was so big that the flames of it could be seen from the neighboring city. The years of your life that you put into it will have been utterly wasted. There is only one thing that remains for you: God's grace.

Verse 13:

If any man's work is burned up, he will suffer loss; but he himself will be saved, yet so as through fire.

The foundation for your salvation is not your work. Salvation is not a reward for what you have done, but for what Christ has done. So even if all of your work proves to have been in vain, and you lose every reward, you still don't lose your salvation, if your salvation is built on the finished work of Jesus.

5 ways to sweep challenging Bible verses under the rug

Every now and then when we read our Bibles, we'll come across verses that we don't want to deal with. Either because it would cause us some imposition, or might cause conflict with the predominant worldview. So for the purpose of making  their own life easier and shying away from potential confrontations, innovative Christians have devised methods to make it as though those parts of God's infallible revelation never existed.

I arranged it in a list format because you have a short attention span and are more likely to click on something and read it if it's enumerated. I can write that because I know you'll probably skip this paragraph anyway to get to the list faster.


1. Make history
The events in the Bible took place a long time ago, and as the nice folks who made up evolution knows, you can make people believe almost anything if it was a really, really long time ago. So go ahead. Use your imagination, and make up some historical context that would explain away your difficult verse. Even if some discerning soul tried, it would be nearly impossible for them to gather enough historical evidence to disprove any claim you may have made. You'll find that almost no one will even want to challenge you, but welcome your explanation and start spreading it to sound smart.

Example: 1. Cor 14 says women should remain silent in church. But that's just because in Corinth the women would sit on one side of the church and shout questions about the sermon to their husbands on the other side, not realizing that it might be disruptive to the service until Paul wrote that to them.

No one will buy it you say? Actually that is a real example of made up history making it's rounds in a church near you as you read it. Get the drift? Let's go on.

2. Spiritual interpretation
If you don't like what the verse actually says, how about trying to replace the actual meaning of it with some symbolic interpretation. If someone challenges you on it, say that the reason they can't see it is because they're not as spiritual as you. After all your interpretation is a spiritual one, while theirs is just literal (practice saying the word "literal" with contempt in your voice). This will discourage any further inquiry into the matter.

Example: Someone recently wrote to me that divorce was not a sin, because marriage is symbolic of Christ and the church (that part is true), and thus that command only applied to the relationship between Christ and the church, and not actual marriage. (What puzzles me about that is I don't think this man would hold to the doctrine of the perseverance of the saints either. But since he clearly was not being rational I did not pursue that glaring contradiction any further.)

3. Inferences trump everything
If you keep reading verse after verse explicitly contradicting a doctrine that you want to perpetuate, how about trying a different path? Make an inference, or better yet, a series of inferences from ambiguous texts, leading to the conclusion that your doctrine is correct. I have to warn you that it will require a lot of work, but the payoff is great. You get to spread false doctrine, while at the same sounding knowledgeable and educated.

Example: Yes, there's a lot of verses that say homosexuality is a sin. But David and Jonathan were sure good buddies. From that I infer that they were gay, and based on that I further infer that God must be okay with homosexuality.

4. Make exceptions
Every once in a while you might find yourself in a situation that our all-knowing God didn't really think of before he wrote his commands. That's when you make an exception for yourself in your special situation. This allows you to feel better about your own sin, while at the same time allowing you to self-righteously judge others who sin.

Example: No sex before marriage? Well except if you really love them, and you really think this will be the person you marry some day.

5. Put an expiration date on it
This is a good one, because there are commands actual commands in the Bible that are legitimately  limited to a certain covenant and time (for example the commands about sacrifices and ritual cleanliness). So who would notice if you added a little bit to that system?

Example: Everything Jesus said before his death and resurrection (or better yet - before the day of Pentecost) was under the old covenant, so it must be discarded. At least most of it. We can keep the don't judge thing.

Alright. Hope you all got some new and fresh ideas for how to twist scripture. Have fun, and remember to always have a grownup help you if you try to do any of this at home.

5 things I've learned in my first year of marriage

My wife recently made an excellent blog post about five things she had learned over the first year of marriage. Now of course I feel obligated as well to make some claim of having learned a thing or two. Or actually five, since I figured if I can't top my wife, at the very least I should match her. But enough chit-chat, let's get on with the list.

1. It's not about me
I can already hear you going "You didn't know that already?". Well, yes... In a way. I'd read Ephesians 5 before we married, and learnt that I was to love her like Christ loved the Church, and sacrifice myself for her. I knew it wasn't all about me. But then we got married, and guess where my focus went? Right to me. You see there's a difference between knowing and knowing. I'm slowly learning to readjust my focus away from myself and what fits me at the moment.

2. It's not really about her either
I love my wife dearly, but our marriage can't be about us. It was ordained from eternity past to be about Christ. So while trying to focus on her is better than focusing on me, it still falls very much short of the true purpose of our marriage. It is easy for me to make an idol out of my wife (after all, she is pretty amazing), but as wonderful as she is, she can't really live up to the expectations that one would have of a deity. I have learnt that our marriage works best when we both derive our love for each other, our motivation and our satisfaction from Christ, and neither of us try to ascend the throne he's set up for himself in each other's hearts.

3. Passive anger is just still sinful
I've never really had anger issues. I'm not saying I never had anger, I just said I really didn't have any issue with it. I figured it was okay since I don't have a very aggressive personality. In stead of yelling or punching, I'll pout, go into some mood and walk around feeling sorry for myself. However, to nobody's surprise except my own, it turns out that anger is anger no matter how it expresses itself. The same pride and selfishness that makes another man hurt his wife by yelling at her, makes me hurt my wife by ignoring her or go sit on the couch and "read" with that special look on my face.

4. The tongue is a fire
On a similar note, I'm not one to scream obscenities from the top of my lounges against my wife. So I figured that whole thing in the book of James about the tongues being set on fire by hell didn't really apply to me. Well, seeing the effect my words can have on my wife has led me to rethink that. Even a small criticism from one you love dearly can tear down very much. And to be frank, whenever one of my afore mentioned moods have led me to open my big mouth, I've rarely thought to my self later on "hey, I'm sure glad I got that off my chest".

5. Frugality isn't always a virtue
Believe it or not, I think this has been the hardest one. No I'm serious. You see I'm more or less frugality incarnate. My wife is not. My frugality probably stems partially from the way I was raised (10 kids, plus a stay-at-home mom leaves little room for waste), and partially from my time of living on my own as a student with minimal income. So my m.o. is to go with the cheapest option for everything, and don't let anything go to waste. I was shocked to learn that this behavior is not the most effective way to make my wife feel treasured (cf. the "cheap plate incident"). I think one wake up call (although I'm a snooze button kind of guy) was when after a few weeks of marriage my wife saw me intently studying a used coffee machine capsule (for scientific purposes), and spontaneously burst out "DON'T eat that!". Now there is a place for frugality, after all, we live on one income, and have to get by on a tight budget, but I'm slowly learning to lighten up at least every once in a while.

Alright, that's all folks. Stay tuned to see if next year I'll finally learn to close that toilet seat and put the cap on the toothpaste as well.

Team Paul and team Apollos - Notes on 1. Corinthians 3:1-7

Verse 1:

And I, brethren, could not speak to you as to spiritual men, but as to men of flesh, as to infants in Christ.

It's all connected

We are starting a new Chapter of 1. Corinthians today. But we need to be aware of the fact that Paul has no idea about that. When he sat down and wrote this letter, he didn't turn the page and write the number three and a chapter title in big letters across the top. He just kept writing. The chapter and verse divisions were created about 1500 years later, to make it easier to reference scriptures.

So let's read this the way Paul wrote it. As a continuation of what he was saying in chapter 2, about how those who have the Spirit share in this common wisdom of the Gospel, and speak about it with spiritual words (verse 13).

I could not speak to you

It is in this context Paul utters his complaint. “And I, brethren, could not speak to you as spiritual men”. As we will learn, there is something going on in the Corinthian church, that hinders this deep fellowship in the Gospel. Paul Couldn't speak to them the way spiritual men speak to each other, because they were lacking this maturity. And they were lacking it because they had not grown together by sharing in this spiritual unity among themselves.

Mature Christians always have unity with each other, because they all know and love the same God, by the same Spirit. There is only one Holy Spirit, so it is only natural that as He increases and we decrease, we share more and more in common with each other.

And the more we have in common, the more easily we talk about things. You do not talk the same way to a small child as you do to a grownup. You can't, because they wouldn't understand. You have to explain everything to them. And there are some things they would never understand no matter how much you explained it.

Verse 2-3:

I gave you milk to drink, not solid food; for you were not yet able to receive it. Indeed, even now you are not yet able, for you are still fleshly. For since there is jealousy and strife among you, are you not fleshly, and are you not walking like mere men?

Milk to drink

It grieves Paul to have to talk to the Corinthians as infants, even though they've been saved for several years now. He wants to share in a deeper fellowship with them. There are deep spiritual truths he wants to share with them, but they are not able to understand or receive it. They desperately need the nutrition of solid food, but they still can barely digest milk.

Jealousy and strife:

It's hard to tell whether their spiritual immaturity was caused by their lack of unity or vice versa. Most likely it was both, creating a vicious circle of immaturity and disunity. Either way, one thing can be said with certainty: Where there is Jealousy and strife, there is flesh, because the Spirit is not jealous of Himself, and He never disagrees with Himself.

Verse 4:

For when one says, "I am of Paul," and another, "I am of Apollos," are you not mere men?

Following men:

It would seem that the subject matter of the jealousy and strife among the Corinthians was related to the preachers who had served among them. Verse 4 mentions Paul and Apollos. Back in chapter 1 verse 12, we find a similar list, including Cephas and Christ as well.

Of course we are not strangers to this sinful tendency to gather around a certain preacher to the exclusion of others. However, you'll remember what we've talked about concerning Greek culture and their particularly strong predisposition toward idolizing eloquent orators and philosophers. “I am of Paul” and “I am of Apollos” is the language of competition.

Apollos:

Let's take a detour for a moment to Acts 18 to learn about Apollos. When Paul left Corinth, he took with him Aquila and Priscilla, who had served with him there. They sailed to Ephesus. Here he left Aquila and Priscilla, while he himself sailed on to Cesarea. It was when Aquila and Priscilla were ministering in Ephesus that Apollos came to town. We can read of it in Acts 18:24-26

Apollos, an Alexandrian by birth, an eloquent man, came to Ephesus; and he was mighty in the Scriptures. This man had been instructed in the way of the Lord; and being fervent in spirit, he was speaking and teaching accurately the things concerning Jesus, being acquainted only with the baptism of John; and he began to speak out boldly in the synagogue. But when Priscilla and Aquila heard him, they took him aside and explained to him the way of God more accurately.

After spending some time with Aquila and Priscilla in Ephesus, Apollos wanted to travel to Achaia, which is the region of Greece where Corinth is located. They gave him a letter of recommendation to the brethren in Corinth (27-28)

And when he wanted to go across to Achaia, the brethren encouraged him and wrote to the disciples to welcome him; and when he had arrived, he greatly helped those who had believed through grace, for he powerfully refuted the Jews in public, demonstrating by the Scriptures that Jesus was the Christ.

And so it was that Apollos ended up in Corinth, continuing the work that Paul had started there. Even though the two of them most likely hadn't even met each other, through the providence of God they had now become coworkers in building the church in Corinth.

The problem was the Corinthians didn't see them this way. They saw a new preacher in town, and some liked him better than Paul and became “of Apollos”. Others remained faithful to Paul, rejecting this new preacher and his ilk. They were “of Paul”, and these two fractions were teaming up against each other. You could probably let your imagination run wild with what kind of arguments and debates they might have had with each other.

Maybe you can imagine how grieved Paul must have been to receive the news that first of all he had a team, and second of all his team was fighting against his fellow servant in Christ. So he writes this letter to put an end to it.

Verse 5-6:

What then is Apollos? And what is Paul? Servants through whom you believed, even as the Lord gave opportunity to each one. I planted, Apollos watered, but God was causing the growth. So then neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but God who causes the growth.

Divine gardening:

To explain this concept to the Corinthians, Paul utilizes a gardening metaphor. Paul planted the Church. Apollos came along later and watered them. They are not competing philosophers, but fellow workers in God's garden.

Not only are they working together, but Paul Also points out that neither he who plants or he who waters can take any credit for the growth of the plant. So Paul is not looking to make them transition from idolizing them as individuals to idolizing them as a team. He is looking to turn them away from looking at flesh, and point them to God.

A warning against Ecumenism:

Unity in the Church is important, but there is a ditch on the other side of the road as well. We need to keep in mind that the same Bible who tells us to unite with each other, also tells us to separate ourselves from the world, and from false brethren.

Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness? Or what harmony has Christ with Belial, or what has a believer in common with an unbeliever? Or what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God; just as God said, "I WILL DWELL IN THEM AND WALK AMONG THEM; AND I WILL BE THEIR GOD, AND THEY SHALL BE MY PEOPLE. Therefore, COME OUT FROM THEIR MIDST AND BE SEPARATE," says the Lord. "AND DO NOT TOUCH WHAT IS UNCLEAN; And I will welcome you. (2Cor 6:14-17)

For such men are false apostles, deceitful workers, disguising themselves as apostles of Christ. No wonder, for even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light. Therefore it is not surprising if his servants also disguise themselves as servants of righteousness, whose end will be according to their deeds. (2Cor 11:13-15)

We are seeing a movement today of historic proportions, away from the worship of Christ in Spirit and in truth, and toward the worship of Christian unity. This is a religion centered around man. You will hear them preach with great conviction about what we as a unified church can do if we only stand together, with little mention of the Power of God.

This movement looks to numbers as their source of power, and in order to increase it's power it must include as many people as possible in this unified church. To achieve this they ignore the Biblical warnings, and unite with every one who mention the name of Jesus, no questions asked about who they believe Jesus to be.

This is not the unity the Bible calls for, because it's a unity of flesh, and not a unity of Spirit. And if you should ever find yourself in the situation of having spiritual unity with such a wide variety of worldly people, you should not thereby assume that they are of Christ, but rather that you are of the world.

The only thing I know about being a father

I am the proud father of a little baby boy or girl, about the size of a lemon. We are eagerly awaiting his or her arrival into the outside world around the end of July. Right now I might not be the man to turn to for parenting tips, because I really don't know much. But I know one thing, and I would dare to say that it is the most important thing one can ever know about being a father. Here it is: 

God has ordained fatherhood as the role by which He would define Himself.

God calls himself father. And one day our child, either through preaching or through reading the Bible, will come to understand God as father. But what will my child understand by the word "father"? That depends almost exclusively on me.

That's right. God--in order to communicate to my child who He is--points my child to me, and say "Look at Your dad. That's what I'm like".

It is a common misunderstanding that the Bible has little to say about being a father. Just a few reminders in proverbs to spank them when they need it, and Colossians 3:21 telling us not to drive them crazy. But in fact everything in the Bible is about fatherhood, because it is about the Father. Everything that is about God is about what I as a father need to be for my children. Their souls depend on it.

For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name... (Eph 3:14-15)