The gays didn't do it

Weddings always afford me some opportunity to reflect on the demise of the institution of marriage in our culture.

In my humble opinion, marriage ranks among the finest of God's creation. And let me emphasize again that it is God's creation, not man's. However, man has taken upon himself to improve upon God's original design.

The last few years there's been a lot of controversy about legislation to change the definition of marriage to accommodate for marriages between two people of the same sex. Many Christians have, in response, rightly pointed out that marriage isn't ours to define; that if we're going to pretend that it is something else than God says it is, we'll do serious damage to the credibility and validity of the institution.

However, looking at divorce rates of more than 50 %, cohabitation rates in the same range, and the attitudes about marriage that are propagated through music, movies, TV-shows, jokes etc., do we really have any credibility in pointing our fingers at the pro-homosexual movement for changing marriage? Do we not already have laws on the books that change marriage from a life long covenant into a temporary contract that can be ended at our convenience? What's one more little change going to do?

So let's stop pretending like the homosexuals are to blame for the demise of marriage. It's been sliding downhill for a long time before they ever got their perfectly manicured hands on it. It was heading down long before divorce was legalized as well.

If we trace the slippery slope all the way to the top, I'm convinced we'll find that the first change made to marriage, triggering the drove of successive redefinitions, was when we decided that the husband and wife were the main characters in the institution. This is no small error. It is monumental, because once committed it will inevitably change every aspect of the relationship.

God created marriage as a picture of Christ and the church. Then secondarily, flowing from that picture, it is about the joy of the husband in his union with Christ as he shares in the experience of selflessly and sacrificially pouring out his love on his wife, and the joy of the wife in receiving this love and returning it by fearlessly and joyfully submitting to his caring leadership.

It is a great perversion when the primary focus of the marriage shifts to the husband and wife, and their needs, desires, and preferences. It inevitably puts the husband and wife at war with each other, over whose preferences get priority. It defaces the picture of Christ and his church and replaces it with one of a ruthless dictator fighting against his rebellious subjects.

And that is the cause of the demise of marriage. Everything else is just a symptom.

Yesterday I was blessed to attend the kind of wedding that make me hopeful for the future. The joining of a young man and a young woman who have consistently honored God in the way they have pursued and prepared for his gift of marriage, and whom I trust will honor God in how they steward this gift as well.

Congratulations, Stine and Jarmo. May your marriage always point to Christ.