The joy of fathering a belly

One of the highlight of my days in this season of life, is at night when Amber and I go to bed, and our little baby wakes up and start kicking and squirming around in her belly. I'm sure we could keep ourselves entertained for hours just looking at it, and feeling those little movements, and trying to imagine what it's up to in there.

It is a tremendously joyful thing, but also one of the most sobering experiences I've ever had. It really shouldn't come as a surprise, since it's universally attested to by everyone who has walked this path before me; that there is something uniquely special that happens in a man's heart when he becomes a father.

It's sobering because this fallen world is a hostile and dangerous place. It's the kind of place one would look at and say "that's no place for children". It's plagued with all forms of sufferings and evil you can imagine, and some that you probably couldn't imagine. Our child will come into a world that conspires to train it diligently in the craft of sinning. And it will find within itself a strange attraction to the allure of evil.

Three decades ago, another brother walked this path and wrestled with these thoughts before me, and wrote this beautiful song for his son.



There's something very peculiar about fatherhood. It's hard work and much responsibility, not to mention that the whole world has conspired to abolish any notion of biblical fatherhood. It's the kind of thing that you wouldn't think of enjoying unless you are a father. But I am one now. And I'm loving it.

A Father's Discipline (1 Cor 4:18-21)

Now some have become arrogant, as though I were not coming to you. But I will come to you soon, if the Lord wills, and I shall find out, not the words of those who are arrogant but their power. For the kingdom of God does not consist in words but in power. What do you desire? Shall I come to you with a rod, or with love and a spirit of gentleness?

The final aspect of spiritual fatherhood that we’ll look at today is that of authority. Take careful note of the fact that this is the last one Paul mentions, after the loving care, and the godly example he has provided for them. It is in this context that Paul now has gained the right to exercise authority.

Just like with natural children, if you try to exercise authority without loving and caring for them, and leading by example, you’ll find that your authority and discipline only serves to harm them and provoke them to anger. That is not strange, because apart from love and godliness your only other possible motives for exercising authority and disciplining would be your own selfish desires.

I’m sure most of us growing up can remember a few days when we dreaded the sound of dad’s car pulling up in the driveway, because we knew that he would learn of something that we had done during the course of the day, and deal with us accordingly. It is something very similar Paul is threatening here. He’s saying to those who are arrogant that they’d better have the power to substantiate their words, because he’s coming back. And depending on their response he’s either coming with a rod or with love and gentleness.

Now they have the choice to respond in a way that removes the need for discipline, or if they truly do think themselves to be spiritually superior to Paul, to face his rod with divine power that matches their big words.

This is the last of a 3 part series on Spiritual Fatherhood Check out the other ones as well:

1 Cor 4:14-15 - The Forgotten Doctrine of Spiritual Fatherhood

1 Cor 4:16-17 - A Father's Example 

1 Cor 4:18-21 - A Father's  Discipline

A Father's Example (1 Cor 4:16-17)

Therefore I exhort you, be imitators of me. For this reason I have sent to you Timothy, who is my beloved and faithful child in the Lord, and he will remind you of my ways which are in Christ, just as I teach everywhere in every church.

You may have heard a failing father, seeing his children fall into the same vices as he himself is captive of, pleading with them to follow what he says, and not what he does. As surely as that tactic will fail with natural children, it will fail with spiritual children. Every father leads by example, whether he wants to or not.

Paul does not merely tell them what to do. He lives it. And since he does, he can say “be imitators of me”. There are many words in this epistle, but Paul knows he can not lead by words alone. But being prevented from coming himself, he sends another. Timothy is another of his spiritual children, who has walked with him and followed his ways thoroughly. In 2 Timothy, written some years later Paul says to him:

(10) Now you followed my teaching, conduct, purpose, faith, patience, love, perseverance, (11) persecutions, and sufferings, such as happened to me at Antioch, at Iconium and at Lystra; what persecutions I endured, and out of them all the Lord rescued me! (...) (14)You, however, continue in the things you have learned and become convinced of, knowing from whom you have learned them (2 Tim 3:10,11,14)

Timothy had been so conformed to Christ that in stead of Paul coming himself to remind them of his ways in Christ, he could send Timothy to refresh their minds on the very same thing. He had walked with Paul for a long time, and grown into a level of maturity where he was able to represent Paul. He was a faithful, mature child that Paul could send to set an example for his younger brothers and lead them into the same maturity.


This is part 2 of a 3 part series on Spiritual Fatherhood the last one is being posted on Monday

1 Cor 4:14-15 - The Forgotten Doctrine of Spiritual Fatherhood
1 Cor 4:16-17 - A Father's Example 
1 Cor 4:18-21 - A Father's  Discipline

The Forgotten Doctrine of Spiritual Fatherhood 1 Cor 4:14-15

I do not write these things to shame you, but to admonish you as my beloved children. For if you were to have countless tutors in Christ, yet you would not have many fathers, for in Christ Jesus I became your father through the gospel.

God loves family. He loves it because he invented it, and purposefully crafted every relationship and every natural emotion involved in each of those different relationships as pictures of spiritual realities. And throughout the Bible he continuously keeps pointing to different family relationships to explain things in terms that we can understand. Christians are called God’s Children, and are taught to see him as our Father. We are to see each other as brothers and sisters. In relation to Christ the church is a betroth bride waiting for the wedding feast. And now we come upon another such picture that is replete all throughout scripture, but sadly almost completely overlooked.

Paul has become a “father” to the Corinthians. How did he become their father? Certainly not the natural way, but rather through the Gospel. That was his instrument of labour when he worked among them, and that was what caused them to be born into the family of God.

Paul went through the pains of birth with these men and women as he prayed for them, witnessed to them, was rejected by them and was persecuted by them. These birth pains were not unique to Corinth. In the Galatian church he even at one point wrote and told them that he was going through this labour with them once again because they had embraced false teachers (Gal 4:19).

After suffering for them, Paul had rejoiced with the angels to see each of them take their first breath as a new creature in Christ. He had carefully instructed them and paid close attention to them. I’m sure he shared the sentiment of the apostle John, who said “I have no greater joy than this, to hear of my children walking in the truth.” (3 John 1:4)

Paul loved his children dearly, and took personal responsibility for them and their growth in Christ. A responsibility that extended deeply into his wallet. Speaking in 2. Corinthians of his plan to make a third visit to them he said:

“Here for this third time I am ready to come to you, and I will not be a burden to you; for I do not seek what is yours, but you; for children are not responsible to save up for their parents, but parents for their children.” (2Cor 12:14)

God loves fathers. One would expect nothing less from one who has taken Father as his title. And conversely, the devil hates fathers, and has created a culture where the vast majority of families don’t have one. They may have an adult male family member, but not one that fulfils the biblical role of fatherhood.

The same is true in the church. Spiritual children are born, and left as defenseless orphans. Some churches try to patch things up with discipleship programs, counseling and various classes and courses, but the real problem goes unaddressed. Their spiritual fathers have abandoned them.

We’ve been conditioned to see evangelism as a short term job. We preach the word, get the largest possible number of “decisions” and then move on to the next place. That is not how Paul operated. He knew that once a spiritual child was born into his hands he had become a father.

This is part 1 of a 3 part series on Spiritual Fatherhood based on 1 Corinthians 4 stay tuned for the other parts:

1 Cor 4:14-15 - The Forgotten Doctrine of Spiritual Fatherhood
1 Cor 4:16-17 - A Father's Example
1 Cor 4:18-21 - A Father's  Discipline